Thursday, February 4, 2010

Oh I almost forgot...

Since we (I mean my roomie, Alex and me) have just started back to school AND we're taking 3 classes this semester (which is a little hard for Alex...her mom drank with her or something) AND my upstairs neighbors are insane a-holes, it might be awhile before I get to post again. I've been brainstorming though...I saw that movie with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman called "The Bucket List" the other night.

Isn't Jack Nicholson awesome? I think we would be the best friends EVER! We have so much in common. He can pull off a beard, I've got a beard and c'mon, do I even have to say it? This just works (please see directly below). He likes dating young girls and I totally dig his style. I'm thinking about trading Alex in for a younger model...either that or getting my ear pierced. Roller blading in some spandex isn't sounding so bad either.

Anyways, I was really inspired and maybe my next post will have something to do with my bucket list. Especially since all this Jack Nick talk has gotten me thinking that maybe I'm hitting a mid-life crisis too. There's lots of stuff I gotta do, ya know? People will remember me in a big way. Already when we're walking everyone knows my name and not Alex's. I've always got to re-introduce her.

Oh and by the way, who's got an 'in' with whoever is causing this rain? For some sun, I will teach you my milkshake for free. :) Speaking of the weather, I hope that everyone is stocked up on Greenies and Busy Bones over in Haiti. Man, the weather-makers have got to find another way to release some of that anger. Next time, just a take a page from my book and listen to that Miley Cyrus song "Party in the U.S.A." Nobody wants another disaster like that. Next thing you know, all of the leash free dog parks in Austin are going to be gone. Then what am I supposed to do to entertain Alex, huh? She drives me crazy when she's cooped up for this long. She acts so annoying that I barely trust her on the roads! I have to go everywhere with her and wait in the car so she will remember that just because she's getting out of the house for a little while does not mean she needs to hang out in Walgreens all day. She bought like 20 birthday cards the other day! I'm not joking! Okay, yeah the one with the pickle was funny, but damn! Can a girl get some Dingos? She should have at least picked something up for me. God, she's so selfish sometimes...

Anyways, Alex is not the best at using her blinker so I have to remind her. That's in addition to calming her down. She gets road rage because (in her word) "Apparently nobody knows how to frickin' drive when it rains! Stupid people!" Woo-sah, I say (Thanks again, Jackie boy!). I just try to stay calm and be supportive. You know, let her know I'm here for her and stuff.

MY POINT IS, if it's raining and I've got to accompany Miss Alex everywhere so she doesn't kill herself (or someone else...came pretty close to taking out a white lady in a BMW yesterday, but in her defense, that stupid soccer mom did cut her off), then I don't get my required 12 hours of sleep that might as well be doctor's orders because Lord knows I'm a pain in the ass if I don't. Sigh so yeah, we could use some sun. Thanks.

Also, if anyone has any subject ideas for blog posts, I'm open to suggestions! We've got a research paper coming up soon so I'm not sure if my creative juices will be flowing enough to have a butt-load of topic selections for that AND the blog. Besides, I bet there are things you want to know about me. Here's your chance to find out! Just to cut some of you off ahead of time, no, I don't like to talk about the time I ran full speed into the sliding glass door. Jeez, one 10-minute sneezing fit and no one lets it go...
Gots to go for now. I'm sure I'll catch up with ya sooner or later. Going to try for a nap as it's her turn to do the assigned reading.

Stay cool,

Martini the Magnificent

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard...

Remember that one time, when I said that I had the best idea ever and everyone should pee before they look at it and I was really excited? Well, the WAIT IS OVER!

I would recommend playing it twice...otherwise you might miss some AWESOME pics of me where I did the zoom thingy cool and look even better (I know, right? I mean, who knew that was even possible!). Enjoy!!!


video

Thursday, January 7, 2010

GET EXCITED

Wow, I was just looking over my last few posts and I can't believe that I have been doing this since October of 2008! Insane! I feel like I have matured quite a bit (especially with my vocabulary) and I hope all of you have grown with me. I do feel like I need to try a new look though...here's one of the options I'm considering:



Yeah, you're right. Wouldn't really be good for my lifestyle. I mean, seems pretty high maintenance and that's not how I like to roll, ya feel me? Two good stretches and a shake and bring on the day, homie. Damn. Sorry bout the ebonics...Alex has been listening to Jay-Z again. It nearly makes me wish she was still going through her Taylor Swift phase. lol I totally lied when I promised I'd never tell anyone that! Sigh that human...she's such an idiot sometimes.

BUT that is not the real reason I'm writing. I've just had THE BEST IDEA EVER. Seriously. You're going to lose control of your bladder (or worse) when you see this shit (<-- that would be the worse). It's effing sweet.

So grab a poop bag before you check out my next post. It's going to be that friggin' awesome. You know how sometimes people build stuff up and then you see it and are disappointed? Well this is totally not like that. Swear on my stack of Greenie coupons. Toodles~

Martini

P.S. Woo-woo, bias.